Perplexed and panting I woke up this morning to find my 5-yr-old cuddled up next to me. ‘Oh, dear Lord!!! Thankfully, she’s still a mini-Me!’, I told myself. Such was the DREAM; the conversation that led to a realization.
12 hours before the DREAM:
ME: Why Maa? Hasn’t the doctor asked you to reduce your screen time?
MOM: I was just checking out those shopping sites for you and mini-You!
ME: You’ll mess up with the online payment thingy again! Let it be, I’ll do it for you.
MOM: Tell me, how do I post a story? Every other day they have some new feature on their app. I just want to put a story so that mini-You can read it from what you call MY PROFILE.
ME: (almost on the verge of losing it) Maa… That’s not what they meant. A ‘story’ is an update…, I mean a new feature. Updating a ‘story’ is not literally a story telling thing… Uff Maa… I’LL CALL YOU LATER!
ME: How should I post this one? Why do they keep updating features every now and then?
Mini-ME (who is now) NOT-SO-Mini-ME: Hmm…
ME: What hmm! Tell me, how should I post it?
NOT-SO-Mini-ME: (turns towards me) Chill… What is it? You want to post this? You’re kidding Maa! Hold on a second… (and she starts scrolling through my timeline)
NOT-SO-Mini-ME (in & as mini-ME): Ugh! What’s this? An ice cream picture with a caption ‘Sweet Nothings with Hubby’! How cheesy, Maa! (And she starts laughing)
ME: What’s funny? It was our first ice cream date!
NOT-SO-Mini-ME (in & as gen-next-mini-ME): You’ve killed it Supsie!
ME: (confused/embarrassed) Why, oh why are you checking my timeline?
NOT-SO-Mini-ME (in & as fashion-police-mini-ME): What the!! Why the!! Why do you resemble a Christmas tree at Uncle’s wedding? Is that a pout you’re trying to emulate with Aunt Arre, Aunt Sachhi and Aunt Hainn?
ME: That’s the best selfie I have with them!
NOT-SO-Mini-ME (in & as critic-mini-ME): So many foodie pictures? Maa, you’re letting the whole world know how many calories you’ve earned. Chuck it! At least I’m glad you didn’t post airport, restaurant or holiday check-ins! (as she scrolls down, a high-pitched opera shriek) MAAAAAAAAAA!!
ME: (worried) Umm…
NOT-SO-Mini-ME (in & as angry-mini-ME):I’m so dead! You have a check-in at the Male airport in your timeline! What an oldy thing! What am I going to tell Becky-boo?
ME: C’mon! That was our much-delayed honeymoon!! Especially since it was after you were born! And you know I wore a tankini in the beach! (gasping for a high-five)
NOT-SO-Mini-ME (in & as mature-mini-ME):Maa! That is so overdressed! You guys are so glued to social media! (gasping for water)
ME: I’m your MOM! Am cool!
NOT-SO-Mini-ME (in & as my mother): Supsie dear, social media is just a farce. You have to reduce your screen time by miles. What happened to couple yoga? Spend some me-time with your (what do you call him) HUBBY!! (she smirks). BTW (as she leaves for her cinematography classes), I like that picture of US in the rain. I love the rains when you’re with me! I love you Supsie! See yaa!!
10 Minutes after the DREAM: Dawn of Realization
What goes around, comes around. I was lucky that in my case it came back to me in a sweet yet powerful way.
P.S. Now, I deal with my mom’s queries about posting a story on her TIMELINE patiently. And, not to forget, instead of taking food-fies (read selfies while gorging), I post yoga-fies (read…, let it be; you get it right?)